Another blog post I never published back from 8/02/2009. I titled it based on an email that a friend of my lying ex sent me with the subject ”the problem with charlie. ” I think I decided not to publish it because I wrote it during an angry moment, but almost a year later, I think it can be said. I will post some more about where my friendship with H went over this past year. There is a lot to catch you all up on, reader. 
Here is the post from last year:
Okay, pretty much right after I posted the update about K and H, H did something that really disappointed me.
As I am starting to think about writing it out, it really sounds pretty bad.
First off… H told me a few days ago that he invited a friend of mine out. I’ll call her M. And it bothered me. He’s told me about hanging out with other girls, which hasn’t really bothered me, but it just felt weird that it was my friend. So I told him it bothered me, but that really, it shouldn’t so he could do what he wanted. And he defended it… it was only lunch, I could come along if I wanted to. And I just told him to do whatever and he kind of laughed and said that he would anyway, but he would at least take it into consideration if it bothered me.
Their lunch plans turned to dinner plans, but even then it was going to be “just dinner”
Because I knew “his other girl” (my term not his), J, was going to be on her own that night and I didn’t have plans, I told him I would invite J to hang out and I did and we did.
H actually had to meet some people from work regarding a big project he was working on before he met up with M, so that was the only part he told J about. Again, lying by omission. *A note on that: H claims that J knows that he is meeting up with other woman, but that he just doesn’t want to rub it in her face. I honestly am not sure that she does know.
Anyway… he told us before he left that he was going to try to make it an early night so he could come back and hang out with us.
And he didn’t. Close to midnight, when it was getting time for J to get to bed, because she had to work the next day, he texted her and asked how she was feeling so she gave him the out and said she was heading off to bed and she would see him tomorrow. And then she turned to me, and I could already tell she was disappointed, and she made all these excuses for him about how he was clearly caught up in this work thing, and how important it was to him, so she was giving him the out.
And I felt TERRIBLE. Because I knew he wasn’t at the “work” thing anymore and that he was actually hanging out with my horny friend, M.
Joyce and I spent all this time earlier in the evening talking about how much we hate liars. And that people choose to be in relationships and put up with certain things, but if you are being deceived, it’s a whole different thing. A friend of mine put it perfectly a while ago: “Being lied to inhibits your ability to make good decisions in your life.” Because you don’t know all the facts.
Ugh!! I told H that I wouldn’t say anything to J about M. Again, the whole not rubbing it in her face. But it really upset me to see J disappointed and making excuses for him when I knew what he was really up to. I texted him to let him know I was disappointed in him after J left and he called me back to defend it… that he had really wanted to leave an hour before (my response was, so why didn’t you?) and that M didn’t want him to go and he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. And that he wasn’t really attracted to M and didn’t want to have sex with her, but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings because she was a “hoot” and he wanted to hang out with her again. He said he was just about getting ready to leave and asked if I was going to be up for a while. And right after I answered he said really quickly, “Oh wait, M’s back I got to go.” and hung up on me so shady like. And then he never came home that night.
I think he is way more like my ex from a year ago than I gave him credit for. I think I need to have a big all in blow out with H and maybe he will help me get some closure on that whole thing with my ex, because I was never able to get my ex to admit that he did anything wrong even when there was irrefutable evidence. I don’t know. The deception really bothers me, but I just feel like there is some lesson to be learned here.
Pshhhh. I guess I should have expected this, right?
